Day 1 | “I work for a healthcare software company, Epic, in technical support. I really need monitors and a semblance of a desk in order to get anything done. So the Friday before last - when I realized I was about to commute home for the last time in a while - I snagged a monitor and my ergonomic keyboard and mouse. I rarely work from home, so I do not have so much as a kitchen table to sit at. My friend graciously let me borrow her card table and I am still flabbergasted that someone my age is grown up enough to not only have a dining room table but also just an extra table and chair to lend to a friend during a global pandemic. Anyways my work and personal life 100% revolve around COVID-19 which makes it all feel even more claustrophobic. It’s interesting talking with friends about what specifically triggers them. For me, it’s being trapped - not just in the apartment, but also not knowing the next time I’ll get to see my family in California.” — Emily in Madison, Wisconsin
Day 2 | “I’m sure just like everyone else I’m wrapping my head around everything. I have found that in this short period so far at home, I’m connecting with friends who I haven’t seen in weeks, resolving fights with my parents faster than ever, and overall constantly wondering what will life be like after this for everyone. In the meantime, I have felt so optimistic about humans. Seeing how we are coming together, making sure we have those connections, and being there for one another (at a distance). My hope that when this is all over, we will all continue to love and support one another.” — Irum in St. Louis, Missouri
Day 3 | “As far as the Corona virus pandemic is concerned I have been truly fortunate. I still have a job as I work in the hotel industry and my dogs get more time with me at home because my social calendar has evaporated :) As a natural extrovert I have a tendency to fill my calendar much more than my dogs would love and these days we spend a lot of time cuddling and playing fetch and watching movies and cooking at home. I feel for all those who work paycheck-to-paycheck and are in industries that had no choice but to close. I have been there wondering how I was going to pay my bills. I hope they can enjoy this time with their families and furrbabies and that this will soon all be over.” — Vanessa in St. Louis, Missouri
Day 4 | “Before the pandemic, living alone offered a great respite from society. Now it’s threatening to become a personal hell of loneliness. But on the bright side my apartment has never been cleaner, and I’ve gotten pretty good at making homemade pasta! Next step: bread.” — Sam in Seattle, Washington
Day 5 | “I have been sick for the past few weeks with some respiratory symptoms (dry cough, wheeze, shortness of breath, but no fever). Naturally, I was concerned that I had COVID-19, but I had heard that tests were few and far between. When I discovered that I had an exposure, it was still a challenge to get tested! I all but had to tell the nurse that I had an intimate experience with someone who tested positive before she ordered the test. I drove up to a triage clinic, and was nasally swabbed (not a pleasant experience). But it was quick, I was told that results would be back in 48-72 hours. It was almost a full week before the test came back- luckily negative! It was certainly a lot of anxiety, but being sick made it easier to socially distance. Now that I know that I don’t have Coronavirus, I feel strangely ambivalent. Relieved that I’m negative, yet somewhat disappointed. Even though there’s no concrete info on reinfection rates, it would have been nice to feel a sense of immunity. Now I’m back to work (from home) and feeling business as normal.” — Anthony in San Diego, California
Day 6 | "In 24 hours I lost my best friend and my job. There is so much uncertainty and change happening in the world right now. Nobody knows how to weather this type of storm. It's shocking and painful and unsettling in ways we could never imagine. When I feel unstable, I cope by finding tangible things to do for myself and others, and filling my day with as much of that activity as possible. This is not the only way, or the best way, for everyone to process what's happening right now. It's just a way I stay grounded. Things have only improved since then. My body feels lighter and I'm much less anxious." — Alexis in St. Louis, Missouri
Day 7 | “I’ve been ringing press secretaries and politicians in my tiny shoebox and watching live-streams of the Director General of Health report increasing cases of the pandemic, though only 6 in hospitals. The guy I’m seeing w a long three musketeers goatee came over for a final snug and sadly this is how I will remember him for the next month. I’ve bought a stick blender and a snorkeling kit and am gonna wiz some frozen bananas and go peruse the shallow parts of the deep blue sea when this lockdown is over and I can again trapeze around this pacific island in said muskateer’s van.” — Julie in Wellington, New Zealand
Day 8 | “What has surprised me most about self-isolation is how it has strengthened connections that I’ve been lazy about maintaining in the past. All my friends with business and teaching Zoom accounts are setting up virtual happy hours, yoga classes, and dance parties. I’m having deep, long conversations with friends who, not long ago, I’d only talk to sporadically. This is the way that social media and the internet were *supposed* to connect us, and we’re only just figuring it out. I hope we’ll keep up the habit after we’re out of the house and back to work, because it has made these let few weeks so meaningful.” — Isabella in Arlington, Virginia
Day 9 | “I’m totally isolating alone in Amsterdam, and I’m very far from home. But! I’m so lucky to have inherited a lot of plants from all of my neighbors who fled the country while the borders were still open. I’ve always navigated staying in touch with people digitally pretty well, as I’ve lived abroad most of my life, so in some ways I really get to talk to some of my closest friends more than ever. But it’s a lot to wake up every day not knowing what the situation will be, and how much longer I’ll be able to support myself here. My heart goes out to everyone quarantining alone.” — Laken in Amsterdam, Netherlands
Day 10 | “I’m an introvert fortunate enough to have a tight-knit family, a comfortable home, a job that has transitioned to remote work, lots of fulfilling hobbies, and, most importantly, three dogs. All of this has made staying home feel surprisingly natural. I’m also a deeply anxious person with a tendency to spiral deep into hypothetical worst-case scenarios. The rational part of my brain knows that I should get off Twitter and stop seeking evidence of the apocalypse. Still, I find myself scrolling at 2am, afraid that if I stop thinking about the virus for more than a moment it will be too late to fight it. I’ve never felt so grateful for the people in my life, and I’ve never been so acutely aware of all that I could lose.” — Melanie in Maplewood, New Jersey
Day 11 | "I have been keeping myself busy at home, and limiting the time that I spend on social media and news. I'm highly empathetic and often unnecessarily put myself in another person's position, which brings additional anxiety and overwhelming emotions. As a freelancer and self-funding Allen & Houston Magazine, I will be worrying about where my next paycheck will be coming from; surely like many others during this time. However, a simple daily gratitude practice keeps me sane and going everyday. I am beyond thankful that I can keep creating with like-minded creatives and uplift our community through our passion, strength, love and kindness. Humanity is beautiful." — Issie in San Diego, California
Day 12 | “I am well, my family and friends are well, I have been a remote employee for 10 years so my day-to-day has not changed. I previously regularly visited local restaurants and creative events so I am most saddened by our collective culture taking a massive hit and unsure as to how it will recover once the pandemic passes. I'm doing my best to support these types of people and offer others some sense of normalcy during not normal times.” — Louis Quatorze in St. Louis, Missouri
Day 13 | “If everything had gone on as planned, I’d be in the UK right now where I had planned to hunker down for a few weeks to do some research, studio visits, and sort of do a self-imposed residency—mostly in Scotland this time around. I’ve leaned into the nomadic lifestyle over the last year especially. Normally my apartment, a two-bedroom upper in a little blue collar Wisconsin town, is let out to AirBnb tenants while I’m away. Now I find myself back here and utilizing a space I’ve hardly been in over the past year, and remembering how much I love the light in here, the plants, the furniture. Needless to say it’s an unexpected excuse to reacquaint myself with home when home has begun to mean so many things to me. Now I’m just doing a residency in my own residence for once!” — Kate in Outagamie County, Wisconsin
Day 14 | “Teaching first grade remotely is drastically different than anything I ever expected. Part of my new normal is checking in with four students a day, during my typical ‘lunch duty’ on the schedule. They share with me their writing, reading, and math, their drawings, legos, and smile big so I can see their newly lost teeth. Getting to see them fall into a new routine and continue to grow and learn in ‘Zoom’ school has been inspiring and brightens my day, no matter how dark the news.” — Abby in Cornwall, Connecticut
Day 15 | “My kids know there’s a new illness and that since it’s so new there’s no medicine for it yet. They know we’re staying away from family and friends to give the doctors and scientists time to make that medicine. While all of this is a huge adjustment for them and for me, above all we are grateful that we are safe, healthy and comfortable. Those we know who have contracted COVID-19 so far appear to be recovering. But I know not everyone is so fortunate. And without widespread testing and with PPE and other medical equipment in very short supply, I’m concerned about what comes next.” — Sarah in St. Louis, Missouri
Day 16 | “My ‘office’ during this crazy time is the living room of my 500 square foot apartment I share with my boyfriend. I’m working full time and my boyfriend is in school full time, now both remotely. The table and chairs belonged to my grandparents when they were first married, and then my wonderful mother shipped them across the country for my first apartment. We decided to live in such a small space because the neighborhood we live in offers so much. It’s definitely been a test now that we don’t get to utilize anything outside of our four walls. Feeling grateful to be healthy and safe during this time.” — Kathleen in Boston, Massachusetts
Day 17 | “Living in East Village Manhattan, we are in quarantine, waiting for an unprecedented storm to pass. Entire systems are changing and we are all rolling with the punches. Uncertainty is in the air, and it’s not just ‘when this will end’ and ‘what will our new normal be’, but also an uncertainty about my own health — wondering how healthy I truly am. Have I fully recovered from my cardiovascular operations? How would COVID impact me? For now though, I’m taking in the moment and appreciating the valuable time I have in good health to focus on family and friends, experiment with Trader Joe’s frozen foods, host virtual game nights, and even pushing my career forward in the oncology space. I am very grateful for the people who are taking time to bring people together during such a period of uncertainty.” — Morell in New York, New York
Day 18 | "My boyfriend and I are on the sofa thinking about what we are going to do next because we both are without jobs now. He just found out. I remember the first time I moved to London when we had to leave Venezuela. I didn't have friends, I didn't understand English therefore I couldn't communicate properly. Most of the time I was at home with my boyfriend. That time taught me how to deal with loneliness and isolation, and I learned more about selfcare. When this quarantine started, I didn't feel frustrated. I keep telling myself I can handle this. I used to work at night so I couldn't spend too much time with my boyfriend. Now we are both furloughed waiting for this to pass but loving us like never before." — Laura in London, United Kingdom
Day 19 | “When our office shut down, I started quarantining myself at the house. Since then it has been 26 days of staying in the house & limited in-person human contact. I could count on my hand the number of times I’ve seen another human being IRL (and please folks, observe 6 ft rule - if you have to). Other than that it’s been talking to visiting neighbors through my Ring doorbell, hosting Zoom movie and party nights and talking to folks on the phone. This helps keep me sane.
I have provisions - canned foods, toilet paper, soap, meds, masks and gloves. I think I can keep bunkered in until early June without worry about supply. This reassures me.
Work has picked up. Being in healthcare, a lot of our hospital sites are hit hard. Working remotely is a struggle, as all I can do with my team is throw technology and product at the incoming surge, at the same time, knowing that it’s coming and that the surge will overwhelm our hospital sites. That scares me.” — Andrew in St. Louis, Missouri
Day 20 | “I’m grateful that a planned vacation to my childhood home in sunny Florida coincided with this indefinite quarantine period. It’s interesting to be back in a place where nothing has changed, while at the same time everything is different. My parents are no exception. It’s funny—what used to be nails on a chalkboard is now music to my ears. ‘You will have very limited access to the car this week’ (or my personal favorite) ‘Unbelievable—how can ONE person finish an ENTIRE carton of chocolate ice cream in 24 hours?!’ As someone who doesn’t worry, I find myself constantly concerned about them nowadays. I try to help any way I can, even if that means elbowing an 80-year-old woman in the 100m dash down the toilet paper aisle (only kidding...unless, of course, we’re down to one roll). My parents are the two people in this world who I want to hug the tightest, but for now I suppose a light elbow tap will have to suffice.
I just found out this week that I’m furloughed starting Monday. I’ll be fine. Everything will be fine eventually. I feel so sorry for my coworkers with kids. This just stinks man.” — Alana in Palm Beach Gardens, Florida
Day 21 | “This lifestyle is almost like my dream as an artist, hunkering down at home with endless time to make, paint, read, write, watch films, cook, meditate, or just simply sit and do nothing. I have always felt like a slow-moving alien in a world that runs way too fast, and now it feels like I can actually keep up. I’m not working my restaurant job and am worried about money, but the power of the masses is that if I can’t pay my rent it’s an individual problem, but if thousands and millions of others can’t then its a problem with the system itself. It is eerily poetic that the monstrous machine of global capitalism and industry would be brought to its knees by a tiny, microscopic speck. We are most afraid of things we cannot see.
I have way too much time to think now, and I’ve been dreaming about new futures. I hope that this crisis will make us reevaluate our current global system and change the way we live. It is possible that this is the first time in history a single event has affected the lives of every human being on Earth, bringing us together to face a common non-human enemy. I hope we can realize that all of us are and have always been on the same side. It’s clear what’s really important, what we want to spend our days doing when the world stops turning. After this, will we go back to business as usual? Or will we quit the jobs we hate, shed the things we don’t need, look out for one another, and follow our dreams and heart’s desires? What does a world look like where everyone is treated like family, where our top priority is for all living beings to thrive, where the masses have power instead of the few?
Right now everything is falling apart, but that means there are more possibilities of how we can put it all back together again. There is a lot to think about. Luckily, we have time.” — Neena in Los Angeles, California
Day 22 | “We feel beyond lucky to be together, with our two dogs, both continuing to work remotely. As far as coronavirus experiences go, we have it easy. That being said, a few nights ago, the mouse (Herbert) who we haven’t seen in months made a reappearance and it has truly sent us over the edge. We’ve been on our hands and knees stuffing steel wool into absolutely every visible crevice. Our 600 square foot NYC apartment is cozy for 4, but absolutely unlivable for 5.” — Annie in New York, New York
Day 23 | “My anxiety around the coronavirus has been steadily building since the outbreak first became news in China as my partner and I have many dear friends and colleagues there. I had read and reread WeChat and Twitter threads, news headlines, and tried to take to heart words of encouragement from my friend in Beijing. But I still wasn't prepared for the emotional magnitude of suddenly, as if a switch was flipped, everyone around me experiencing the impact of the pandemic uniquely, yet at once.
It was like living a recurring nightmare as each family member and friend in a different part of the globe came to terms with how their new lockdown would turn their world upside down. I personally didn't fear staying indoors--I already work remotely and I love spending my time decorating my space and tidying when I am home (which normally isn't much). But I did fear for my older relatives, at home and abroad, most of whom live alone. I feared I had it (didn't we all?) and that I would unknowingly spread it. I feared for those furloughed and laid off. I feared for my favorite businesses. The list goes on and on.
Utter overwhelm mowed over any chance I had at doing any of the ‘quarantine activities’ that flooded social media. I did my best to put any ounce of energy I had left into self care--yoga, breathing exercises, tai chi, meditation, walking outside, and connecting virtually with people.
Now I'm starting to find my routine again, I'm constantly reminded how thankful I am for having a supportive partner at home, for my health (and that of my family's and friend's), for a city filled with people with huge hearts willing to go above and beyond to keep small businesses afloat, for healthcare and essential workers who are simply amazing and selfless, and for technology that allows us to virtually exist with others. Sometimes it's weird and hard to get on with things in this new normal, but I try to remember that so many people are relying on us to, when we can, be positive, creative, and the light in all of this craziness.” — Jessica in St. Louis, Missouri
Day 24 | “Honestly my personal experience changes everyday. I waver between gratitude, grief, anger and guilt. The end of 2019 was a strange one, I was in a really toxic working environment and when I became unemployed I found myself loving the time. I was focused on making 2020 a better year. I was so excited about my new job, my upcoming wedding, the election, the olympics, my brothers graduation, etc. Now I have time again but it feels off, I think it’s because I miss planning and I miss looking forward to things. Being forced to be in the present has made me think about what I miss (and will be missing) but also makes me think about what I hope will change. I hope that in the rush back to ‘normalcy’ we remember that some things desperately need to be revisited. Today, at least, I’m grateful I’m healthy, safe, employed, with my two favorites (Ryan and Winslow ❤️) and part of this amazing series.” — Masha in San Francisco, California
Day 25 | “Today my boyfriend's mother who I love dearly sent me a birthday package of extremely thoughtful gifts, including a Frida Kahlo puzzle, a recipe she likes with baggies of the obscure spices it calls for, and reusable grocery bags. She also sent me three pairs of underwear. I haven’t stopped laughing since.
I have been exceptionally lucky throughout this ordeal - I have a home I love and a caring partner to share it with, a work-from-home job that motivates me, and a support network of friends and fam just a tap away. On a lot of days I’m still full of anxiety (which seems insane) but it’s nothing compared to those around me who suffer economically, emotionally, mentally, and physically.
The last couple of days have been really good ones, in which we spent time outside ten feet away from a couple friends and zoomed with so many loved ones who live hundreds and even thousands of miles away. A lot of these interactions are connections I wouldn’t have had without social distancing, and these melting boundaries are filling me with joy and maintaining my sanity. It’s a weird feeling to find a silver lining in a pandemic. It’s easier to do if you’re in a position of privilege like me.
This is a beautiful project. I don’t know that my voice needs lifting up, I don’t think I need a platform. But I do want to thank all essential workers for enabling everyone’s safety as they do the critical work of saving our lives, stocking our food, driving our buses, delivering our mail, and caring for our loved ones.” — Hanna in Boston, Massachusetts
Day 26 | “While I don't have a fancy office at home, I am fortunate to have everything that I need to get through this. I miss my coworkers and friends, but I strangely feel closer to them now than ever. The distant-socializing has its own intimacy. My outlet as an extrovert is sharing food I make with my friends and neighbors -- curbside drop off, if you will.
My husband and I were planning to visit my parents in South Korea this month, but I'm uncertain if we'll be able to see them this year at all. I know there will be an end to this, so I'm just trying to live one day at a time.” — Bomi in St. Louis, Missouri
Day 27 | “Ok I have a confession - I took this picture before quarantine. I have it saved on my phone in case someone wants to see my space but I don’t feel like cleaning 🤷🏼♀️ That seems pretty emblematic of my last month inside - a polished picture when reality is a little more hectic.
Most days I throw on a clean shirt and try to look as if I didn’t wake up 5 minutes before my zoom call and hope no one can tell my computer is perched precariously on a pillow or that I’m not wearing a bra.
Everything feels simultaneously routine and unfamiliar. I am very lucky to still be working and to have a wonderful support system both near and far. I feel closer to those I love as we make more conscious efforts to remind each other of our appreciation. And some days I feel sad, I feel anxious and I feel a lack of control.
But I take comfort in knowing this will not be forever, that we are in this together and many are making it impossible to not see the light in this dark spot. ❤️” — Caroline in Los Angeles, California
Day 28 | “My husband and I have been together for almost 8 years and we were long distance for 7 of them. Even after moving in together, our careers have kept us busy and apart more than we’d like. We’ve been home for the last 5 weeks and it’s the most consecutive days we’ve ever spent together. I’ve learned a lot about myself. Like, I guard snacks. I worry more than I realized. Sleep and cozy spaces are mission critical for my functioning. I think these have always been true but it’s different seeing them from another person’s perspective. As excited as I am for this to be over eventually and have the world return to a new version of normal, I love having time to be together and I’ll miss that when we inevitably get busy again. Not the sharing snacks part though, that I won’t miss.” — Sarah in Columbia, Missouri
Day 29 | “For three out of five of us, our days went from classroom exploration to living room lockdown seemingly overnight. I teach four and five-year-olds in Beginning School, and doing that from a distance is something that I never imagined possible. It has turned out to be a creative challenge, though, that has woken us up and challenged us to think in new ways. My family feels fortunate that we are all healthy, that the kids are young and adaptable, and that we have a great backyard in which to spend the long afternoons. We have played more Uno, hide-and-seek, and charades in this living room than ever before, and are working hard to make the most of our unplanned, uninterrupted family time.“ — Brittney in Salt Lake City, Utah
Day 30 | “The day after I started working from home, I called my aunt and she told me my uncle was so sick. I need to say that they are my favorite people in the world. Three days after that, he was sitting on a chair, waiting for a bed at the hospital in Spain for 12 hours. He could not breathe, he had a high fever and it was like… OMG this is real. He nearly died. I have been so aware since then, controlling everyone in quarantine in the USA (‘lecturing’ people as my husband like to say…) My mind is in Spain though. I read as many articles as I can and check on the number of people infected every night. This entire situation makes me consider, even more if it is possible, if being in a different country away from family is even worth it. The idea of losing someone without saying goodbye terrifies me. But, then I turn my music on and a country song comes on, and I remember how happy I am here in the U.S.
During these quarantine days, I have been taking more pictures. For some reason, I feel more creative and I really like that feeling. I have missed it for some time now. I can see frames, different points of view, and colors again. We have a cherry tree next to our house, so I have been taking one picture per day in order to see the changing of the color from white to pink. I always think about the cherry tree at some point in my day, and I feel a sense of gratitude.
On the other hand, I feel a need to be grateful. With my situation, I cannot complain. I have a great job, I can spend time with my husband that I could not have had before and I have everything that I need. I strive to remind myself of this everyday.” — Laurita in St. Louis, Missouri
Day 31 | “Today was day 40 for me so at this point working from home feels kind of ...normal. I’m extremely grateful that the afternoon they announced that we would be working from home the following day, I grabbed the giant monitor off my desk and brought it home with me. (My manager said, ask forgiveness not permission haha). I find myself sitting at this desk almost all of my waking hours because it is where I work but also where all my markers and planner supplies are and time/days of the week don’t feel real anymore.” — Cindy in Fairfax County, Virginia
Day 32 | “I’m kinda a loner by nature, so this whole thing isn’t too hard for me. I have friends that are really struggling with the lock down, but it’s only recently started to weigh on me. I miss going on buys for the shop I own, playing tennis, going out to eat, back yard hangs as the weather gets warmer, but I can fill a day pretty easily and the things to do around the shop and home somehow seem endless.
I got my unemployment benefits approved the other day, so I feel a bit more relieved. We are still waiting on small business loan paperwork and approvals. The process is difficult and the future seems uncertain, but overall I feel REALLY lucky that my family and friends are healthy, the days are full and food is on the table.” — Anna in St. Louis, Missouri
Day 33 | “I’m quarantined in a small garden level studio in Boston’s Fenway neighborhood. I’m fortunate enough to have the ability to work from home and quickly adjusted my space and my routine within my means. Living alone I think it’s important to be acutely aware of what you need to keep yourself mentally and physically sound so you can focus on helping others where you can and being present when spending time with family/friends - particularly in this virtual environment.
Three people close to me were directly affected by the virus. One was on a ventilator for about 30 days, pulled through, and is now recovering at Spaulding Rehab. We’ll likely all know someone personally at some point that’s been diagnosed and we owe it to them, the people fighting for us and them, and the people that don’t have the means to take precautionary measures to keep themselves safe to contribute as much as possible and stay inside.
A few things I’ve learned throughout quarantine: hand washing clothes in a bathtub can be fun, spray your cast iron pan before you try to make vegan stovetop cookies (better yet just use an oven. Cookies are not pancakes...), cereal is the most versatile food on the planet, and if you go outside to clean your window - locking yourself out of a multi-unit building with a dirty paper towel and beads of sweat dripping from your face during a pandemic is a bad idea (thank you guy in apartment 2, you are the real mvp). I miss my friends, family, and coworkers. And I cannot wait to hug so many people and pet sooooo many dogs 😊! At the risk of sounding overly optimistic, we will get through this and I think that as a result we’ll be stronger, kinder, more aware and more empathetic toward one another as society holistically than we ever were before. We’re all in this together." — Courtney in Boston, Massachusetts
Day 34 | “I've lived in this New York apartment for almost four years now and worked at my company for nearly five, since graduating from WashU. In many ways, during this time, there's been comfort and stability in that, that I've established a home for myself in this city in my life and work. Yet, in the five years at my company, I have never enjoyed working from home, instead always preferring to stay late or come in early to the office to get my work done. Working from home was less productive and felt like work encroached on ‘my’ time. So it's certainly been an adjustment to figure out how to set boundaries, create the line between work and life, while acclimating to this new normal. However, when it all comes down to it, I feel so lucky and so much gratitude to know that my friends and family are safe, that I have a job and a place I call home.
One of my new rituals has been a weekly Havdalah Zoom with some of my camp friends. Havdalah marks the end of Shabbat to usher in a new week, and, though we may be spread across the country, I've found it to be grounding and important to know that I have that to look forward to every week.” — Kate in New York, New York
Day 35 | “Through a dark time, nothing has helped me connect with myself more than poetry. I’m back to writing every night again, and the idea of making something out of nothing is one I’m clinging to these days. Even when all I can muster is a shitty poem (I’m talking about you, poem on dishwashers), the poem is still a part of me, and that feels important. Here’s a page out of my notebook to honor Diana’s daily creations:
Tonight is a falling sky
Tomorrow is one too,
lilac-gray where we
hold a candle to our hope
Above us, Jupiter dances
to another spot of night
and we meet her with
goodbye again,
her five points shone across
the trees and all their outlines,
a winter breeze in April,
my eyelashes to your cheek
Before we go, we remember
Tomorrow we wake to
another lilac again
“
— Camil in Chicago, Illinois
Day 36 | “These days I find myself toggling between a mixture of emotions. It makes my days unpredictable but allows me to be in the present. There are days when I’m practicing how to sit with challenging feelings like grief, sadness, and boredom - which feels the worst of them all as a creative. My mother always said the only bored mind is an unimaginable mind. So there are difficult days where I watch Disney movies, scroll on social media, and allow myself to grieve. Then there are days where I love how silent the mornings are - no cars, people, just the birds! And on those days I feel full of energy and I’m creative, cheerful, and remember that I am ok. I’m healthy, quarantined with someone I deeply love, and able to work from home. I’m ok.” — Dalychia in St. Louis, Missouri
Day 37 | “Something I’ve been thinking about is how connected we all are in this experience. I’m in grad school to be a psychologist and the first couple weeks of shelter in place were a big change. Typically when clients talk to you, you’re hearing about their life from an outsider’s perspective, but with the pandemic, suddenly I was experiencing many of the same anxieties and emotions as my clients. We were all facing this unprecedented change at the same time, trying to adjust to a new reality that changed everything about the day-to-day. I’ve taken this as a reminder to make time for my own well-being, so that I’m in a place where I can be helpful to others. For me, this looks like taking lots of walks and spending time with my partner.
At the same time, the pandemic is not an ‘equalizer.’ Not everyone is at equal risk for contracting the virus and not all are feeling the financial impact of the pandemic as acutely. I’m trying to hold these two realities—that we are all suffering and that we are also not all suffering the same—with compassion. It helps to remind myself of the wise words from Brené Brown in her podcast episode on comparative suffering: ‘Love is the last thing we need to ration right now.’ We can be compassionate towards other people at the same time that we’re compassionate towards ourselves.
So I’m sending a little love out to everyone reading this right now! We all deserve it!” — Alexandra in Redwood City, California
Day 38 | “I find it hard these days to stay focused for long periods of any consequence. At first it was easier to just put my head down, seclude myself, and work. I think I had a false sense that it would either be over sooner and some normality would return. Or perhaps I just didn’t understand how much of my life was a simple routine, and how that routine really masked a real understanding of time. The length of a day is different now. These days, I need to break up the work, and break up my day into clear segments. Everything is uncertain, nothing is a given. I guess it’s always like that. I just am realizing it more frequently. Week 6 begins.” — MJ in St. Louis, Missouri
Day 39 | “I’m extremely fortunate because COVID19 has not touched my job, my health, my safety or that of my immediate family and friends. I will forever be grateful for that. Despite this gratitude, which I schedule into my routine to practice daily, I am fighting a unique sense of loss. The loss of several once-in-a-lifetime rites of passage that I will never get back, and a postponed milestone that has sadly lost its appeal.
Sometimes you’re lucky enough to be able to say that your troubles are small compared to most other people’s. And despite my wholehearted understanding of this, I also fight daily to quell feelings of immense loss.
We are all experiencing losses of different magnitudes with different consequences at this time. Losses whose ramifications will ricochet into our futures, upturning plans we had hoped for. I read somewhere that collectively we are going through a trauma, and that felt like the first, true appropriate assessment of this time. The best piece of advice I’ve heard is that it is okay to feel sad. Once I allowed myself to do that, I found that there was far more peace in acknowledging your sadness head on, than in trying to stifle it.” — Leah in West Palm Beach, Florida
Day 40 | “I expected battles my first year of residency but nothing like COVID-19. It's difficult to articulate how I’m doing after a month of working in our COVID ICU. I wanted the chance to work there so I’m appreciative for the opportunity. All health care workers tend to have a desire to help- to help each other, to help our patients and their families. But we’ve had to re-define what that means as despite every effort, these patients are still getting very sick and dying. And we’ve dealt with death before but this has been unprecedented. Personal growth has been necessary. There’s been a recognition that just bearing witness is something and I'm trying to find solace in that. There’s been a lot of grief that I’ll be processing for awhile, and there’s been many frustrations at the inefficiency of our nation’s health care. But it’s difficult to describe the balance because it’s not all sorrow. Shifts in the unit have a kind of ‘new-normal’. My co-workers are rockstars and literal heroes.
There’s been an outpouring of support and I’m overwhelmingly thankful for my personal village that keeps me going as well as our community that is doing whatever possible to support us. I’m extremely thankful that many people listened over a month ago when we asked them to risk or lose their livelihood because doing that continues to give us a fighting chance to avoid what we’ve seen in other countries. I love focusing on that because those acts of solidarity keep me resilient. The notes we get from our community keep me inspired and the donations of meals and coffee keep me energized.
Relaxing on my days off is a priority but it's difficult because I know we’re not through the woods yet. To give myself breaks, I’ve returned to the glory days of my youth by playing video games on nintendo switch. My Mario Kart skills have really improved 😉 My fiancé picks movies for me that he knows I’ll enjoy and won’t stress me out (i.e. NOT Contagion) We’ve been cooking and spending time in our tiny kitchen but we also order food from our favorite places. We laugh a lot and WOW are dogs a gift. Our goofy and loving doodle provides boundless joy, re-vitalizing cuddles and an excellent reason to get outside and move.
It’s been a transformative and empowering month. I’m tired but I’m learning how to best take care of myself so that I can keep taking care of my patients and it's the most rewarding feeling.” — Patty in Chicago, Illinois
Day 41 | “How am I feeling? I feel present and grateful. I hurt for those experiencing loss during the pandemic and in turn feel like I’ve been gifted a rare opportunity to slow time down and appreciate.
My normal day to day life is a rushed 9-5. It involves professional attire, running my courtroom, and learning from my colleagues. My current day to day life is yoga pants, wiping applesauce off my face, and learning from my one year old.
The last two months have allowed me to watch my son grow in ways I never would have gotten to experience - and wouldn’t have even realized I was missing. Each day is an exhausting, stressful, wonderful gift.” — Maddy in St. Louis, Missouri
Day 42 | “I’ve been at my childhood home with family and using my brother’s room as my workspace. If anyone knows the Pritulas, they know that Christmas is a big deal for us and it would likely be no surprise to hear that we have a Christmas tree up year-round. It is so normal to me, but my coworkers and friends have been hilariously confused on video calls. With various holidays, birthdays, and milestones now being celebrated inside, it actually feels good to have something ‘festive’ in our space to brighten the mood.
In other moments, it hardly feels like there is reason to celebrate during this crisis. At times, I’ve been so overcome by loss and anxiety that I’m brought to tears. This is coupled with the guilt that I feel about even having ‘the right’ to be sad when I am so incredibly lucky to be safe and healthy with my loved ones.
I actually think that the jarringly opposite sentiments reflected in the paragraphs above reflect my quarantine experience. One minute I’m laughing at a meme about being stuck in the house and the next I feel badly for laughing when it is a privilege to be at home. The wavering emotions can be exhausting, and in these uncertain times, what I crave most is predictability and stability.” — Christine in Scarsdale, New York
Day 43 | “The first time I worked from home for any length of time was 2010. Since then opportunities to do so have presented here and there. The hard part about this instance is I'd just started working a couple months prior with a new business partner in a picturesque office and for it to suddenly end, and pull momentum out of our work has been hard. But we're lucky to be able to make things work remotely.
The upsides have appeared as well. My home has become an occasional cocktail-making studio via my side hustle, Manhattan Cocktail Project, which I started last fall. I've started a writing project with one friend, a podcast with another and stumbled on what may turn into a long essay or book.
I'm currently sheltering away from my space though. As someone who lives on their own, my sanctuary can at times be too quiet. A couple days ago I made the drive from St. Louis to Denver to stay with my brother and in his home.
While I can't wait for all of this to end, I do spend a lot of time thinking about how I and the community-at-large will change in the long run.” — Chris in St. Louis, Missouri
Day 44 | “I’ve been cozying up with my partner in his studio apartment in Boston. My medical school clerkships have been suspended during a critical transition point in my medical education, which has been stressful. I do, however, feel grateful on a daily basis for the many blessings in my life. My family, although physically far away, has been more connected than ever. My parents, grandmother, siblings, half siblings, in-laws, soon to be in-laws, aunt, uncle, nephews and I hangout on Zoom every Friday night. I chat with my best friend, my grandmother, every single day. For the first time in a very long time, I have gotten to spend every night with my partner, who is usually an hour away.
That all being said, in the back of my mind looms the fear of what’s to come for me, for this country, and for this world. When I do venture out of this tiny studio, I look into people’s eyes right before I cross the street to maintain the right amount of distance. My inbox is flooded with emails about how the worst is still to come, how we are not taking all of the necessary precautions. I read about the millions of people who are out of work, barely able to make ends meet. My partner tells me stories about the ICU patients he is taking care of who are dying alone due to the absence of visitors in the hospitals.
Soon I will go back to my own apartment to quarantine before resuming my rotations. I don’t know what to expect from the next few months, weeks, days, or even minutes. What I do know is that I am so privileged to have a strong community around me. People whom I can depend on no matter where on the map we all land.” — Alex in Boston, Massachusetts
Day 45 | “I’ve been luckier than most. I moved to Austin almost exactly eight months ago, and COVID has not had much of a presence here (yet). I work for a startup in St. Louis, so the remote lifestyle is very familiar to me. And, unlike most small/new businesses, we are actually doing pretty well, and we know how lucky and blessed we are.
My roommate is quarantining with family in Dallas, which is probably for the best. I don’t think he would enjoy my every-hour-on-the-hour dance parties. You have to get your 10k steps a day somehow, and Dua Lipa did just release a new album.
What have I learned about myself? I’m actually doing pretty okay on my own. I’m stocked up on supplies, I’m checking off so many options on my movie watchlist (I’m a BIG movie guy), and I’m returning to a hobby that I haven’t explored in much too long - reading. After not picking up a book for a solid few months, I’ve finished about seven during the quarantine. It’s exciting to be back.
It feels like a return to self, in a weird way. I miss socializing, surrounding myself with people I cherish, and having the freedom to explore parts of my new city. But the few months before all this had been a whirlwind, and though Mother Nature forced me (and all of us) into a corner for some quiet time, I don’t think I ever would have recognized the need for it on my own.
Plus, I have Stella, the obvious star of this still life.” — Parker in Austin, Texas
Day 46 | “I’ve been spending this time keeping focused on new projects in the studio and contributing to my community in ways of love and support. Grateful to work for a university that is providing material to sew masks, which has been helpful in my efforts to contribute positively during this wild time. In addition, I have been co-curating a page Feminist Art Museum where we are highlighting artists and their work as well as resources available during this time. We are premiering our first virtual exhibition on May 15 and would love to share that with everyone. Sending love and good vibes to you all!” — Sarah in Metro Detroit, Michigan
Day 47 | “Adjusting to the quarantine was really hard at the beginning because I’m planning on leaving Nashville in the fall. I came here in 2014 with Teach for America and promised my 7th grade students I’d stay with them until graduation. They’re seniors this year, but because of Corona, all the fun parts of senior year got cancelled. I’ve been with these kids for 6 years, and I don’t know how to deal with the lack of closure. We’ve been doing some online classes, but it’s so different than being with them in person. I’ve had this vision of seeing them walk across the stage at graduation for so long, and it’s hard to acknowledge that won’t ever actually happen. I still haven’t figured out how to grieve the little things we’ve lost from COVID. I took so much for granted because I thought I still had more time with them. I think I’m still a little in denial that I’ll never have another chance to be with them all again in person, to say goodbye; to say how much I love them; or how much they’ve meant to me.” — Moira in Nashville, Tennessee
Day 48 | “School is ending weird this year. What started out just like extended snow days quickly turned into something quite different for Elizabeth. We try to stick to a schedule; get up, shower and eat by 9am to start lessons. Do math, then Inquiry (social studies), English, Zoom meetings with the teachers on most days, sneak in some phys ed via YouTube when we remember, and then read... a lot.
Elizabeth: ‘I’ve read at least 5 books so far. My favorite was ‘Betrayal’, the second in the Lady Grace series. No wait! My favorite was ‘Insignificant Events in the Life of a Cactus’ by Dusti Bowling. Now I’m reading ‘A Crooked Kind of Perfect’ by Linda Urban. I don’t like that I can’t go to school and see my friends, though. I learn better when the teacher teaches.’
Elizabeth celebrated her 11th birthday this past Sunday and did a Zoom party with her friends. It was fun but just not the same...” — Jane in St. Louis, Missouri
Day 49 | “I know this time has been tough for so many people, but I do want to share that I’m personally doing really well have spent a lot of time reflecting on how lucky I am. Thinking about little things like the fact that my 4 year long distance relationship ended last summer. If this had happened at this time last year, I would have been in a much different spot. We also adopted a dog 2 months ago so we get to spend so much time with him during work from home. We both still have jobs, my family is safe and has what they need, etc. I really just feel like as tough as things are in the world right now, I just feel like I have A LOT to be thankful for in my life.
I do feel a lot of sadness for people struggling right now, and am finding ways to help support the community. I think now is a critical time to support, but I am also really focused on thinking ahead for when quarantine ends and the focus starts to shift away from COVID a bit. There’s going to be a lot of rebuilding to do, and I want to continue to play my part.” — Jamie in Los Angeles, California
Day 50 | “I work for a health insurance company in St Louis with a large part of my job being in person meetings with clients to discuss population health management strategies. These face to face meetings always bring a great sense of satisfaction by helping an employer understand the risks and align actions for positive change. With the stay home orders, I am resorting to video conferences as I reach out to maintain client contact and stay engaged with their concerns. The focus of my work has shifted to all things COVID and how this will impact the claims and workforce going forward. You can hear the strain in the employers' voice as they face this new reality of trying to maintain benefits for a reduced workforce, even with a reduction of revenue. The positive for me has been no travel. While I love those face to face meetings, it does call me away from home most days with several overnight stays around the state. But now I find myself working longer hours as you never truly turn off from work mode when your office is at home. Setting some parameters has been helpful, a lesson learned after about 2 weeks at home. Now I am exercising more, eating better, and shutting things off at 5:30pm regardless. It will be there for me tomorrow!” — Julie in St. Louis, Missouri
Day 51 | “When the pandemic began in China and the lockdown happened in January, I was starting to worry about my family. For years we have had a weekly video call so they kept me updated as things progressed. We stayed cautious here in the United States too, and I began limiting our outings in January. I desperately want everything to go back to normal soon.
By March the virus had spread rapidly worldwide. One morning my boss called me to let me know the office has been closed due to a suspected case. I still had hope that we would be allowed to return to the office soon. The next day the state issued a stay at home order. Since that moment, I have socially distanced myself at home with your dad and brother. Luckily, I’m used to working from home a few days a week. So this is not a new experience for me.
This situation has created more free time in my schedule, and I have become addicted to baking cookies and bread. Grocery shopping online has already gotten to the point where it is my new normal life. Luckily I can still walk around my neighborhood, and plant flowers and vegetables in my garden.
Our family and friends are working to stay healthy and connected so we can lift our spirits through this tough situation together. I know eventually we'll be able to safely go back out for food, biking, swimming, go to school and work, and gather with family and friends again.” — Shaohong in Westborough, Massachusetts
Day 52 | “I’ve never been great with change, but as an introvert, I thought I’d be thriving right now. Halfway through a spring break trip, we had to make an emergency trip home after we had just arrived in Portugal. I woke up to frantic texts from friends and family about the US closing its borders. By the time I heard the news and frantically jumped online to check out flights that beat Trump’s deadline, they were all sold out. Our airline’s phone line went straight to a dial tone, which it proceeded to do for weeks.
We soon learned that this ban no longer applied to US citizens, but our original flight home was cancelled a couple of days later nonetheless. The airline still didn’t answer their phone, and we were hours from any airport, so we were forced to pay thousands of dollars per ticket online to get home. The whole 24+ hour journey home, I was mentally preparing myself for the 8 hour customs wait/cesspool for COVID 19 screenings at JFK, which I saw in the news the day before. I was so relieved when we arrived in New York and learned their screening procedures had changed. My temperature was taken on the jet bridge when I got off the plane in New York. From there, I began my 14 day quarantine which pretty much never ended.
I am so grateful to still be employed and have the opportunity to somewhat interact with my students, but teaching art online has required me to totally reinvent the wheel, and I’m beyond drained. Meanwhile, I’ve been going through some tough relationship changes too.
To stay sane I’ve tried to maintain some consistency in other aspects of my life like hosting virtual game nights and dance parties, and making art. Lately I’ve been working on linocut prints, and having people donate to the CT Food bank as payment, which has given me something to focus on other than all of these changes. It also serves as a personal reminder of how lucky I am to be healthy and well-fed with a roof over my head.” — Liz in Hartford, Connecticut
Day 53 | “On March 11th I came to San Francisco to visit my sister and brother-in-law, as well as to help watch my nephew, Jax, while they looked for new childcare. After a week of visiting, we were all supposed to leave to vacation in SoCal together. On March 16th the lockdown order came into place and everyone’s life was put on hold.
It’s been 18 months since I first became an aunt, and after 2 months of being on lockdown with this little ball of joy I’ve found myself never wanting to leave. Indeed, a few weeks ago my sister asked me if I wanted to stay longer term and I couldn’t think of a reason why not. I’ve been planning to move to the Bay for a while now and was supposed to move last year, but instead ended up backpacking through Asia for several months instead… All this to say, my life is full of unexpected and wonderful surprises.
P.S. To all my St. Louis friends: Not to worry! My company is still based in STL, so I’ll be back for plenty of visits. Missing you all dearly!” — Jessica in San Francisco, California
Day 54 | “As a complete extrovert and someone who derives his energy from interacting with other people and being active I was concerned when Covid hit and I knew I'd be isolated alone for a long period of time. However, thanks to the amazing people in my life I could not be happier and am truly thankful!
My small flat which used to only be used for sleeping has now become a flexible place to live. My kitchen table which I never used has now become my office, bar, and night club for some amazing dance offs with friends and plenty of room on the dance floor :p. My living room is now my gym, yoga studio, movie theater, and again - bar.
The ups have been video chats with new and old friends and family around the world and of course those dance offs with videos that should never resurface. I've met partners, kids, & pets, and it's been a joy connecting with people in their home state. We created Zoom games I believe could go global and I've talked to my family more than I ever have! I celebrated my dad's birthday, sister's graduation, and mother's day all in a comfy pair of sweats. It's been an oddly crazy sunny time in London (VERY welcomed) and while it doesn't compare to a pub in the sun, a drink on the balcony is hard to beat.
The downs are from the inevitable boredom that sits in, the occasional reminder that my step count is still in the hundreds, the fact that you simply can't replicate the energy gained from interacting with people face to face, and in the few occasions where I've seen friends I wasn't able to give them a hug hello or goodbye - a 2 meter wave is just strange.
I hurt for those that are struggling and wish them the best in these tough bizarre times. I wish for speedy recoveries for ailing loved ones and certainty or peace for those going through difficulties, financial or otherwise. All I can say is we are a damn resilient species and we will get through this. Please stay safe and enjoy this time to reconnect with family, friends, or just to focus on yourself. Lastly whether you're up or down; on top of the world or looking up at the mountain give me a call or FaceTime - I'm always down to chat and catch up!! :) Sending love to all and see y'all (hopefully not thru a screen but either way is good) very soon!” — Blake in London, United Kingdom
Day 55 | “I moved to Boston to open our East Coast office for work, and it’s just been me here for the last 6 months. So, I was used to having space to myself during the workday. But, I also generally travel between 30-50% of the month for work so not being on the road and visiting our other offices and lab has been…weird. I miss my coworkers, friends, and family, and I also miss the feeling of ‘coming home’. When I moved to Boston I wanted to be in the suburbs, but wasn’t very familiar with the neighborhoods. I found a short term rental in Lexington on Craiglist (Sidebar: Craiglist is also where I found my first job after grad school, at the company I currently work for, interestingly enough). I had no idea about the neighborhood’s history, I just knew it was a good fit for me, my dogs Frank and Beans, and a reasonable commute from work.
Turns out, Five Fields is one of the original radical suburbs. The home I live in has the most amazing authentic mid-century vibe. The floor to ceiling windows in the living room have been an incredible backdrop I’ve really only come to appreciate thanks to spending more time at home. I’ll be moving out soon, but I’ve done everything I can to try to enjoy the history, views, and neighborhood I feel so lucky to have experienced. Sometimes you have to be forced to slow down to appreciate what you have.” — Natalie in Lexington, Massachusetts
Day 56 | “Usually when I’m at work I’m surrounded by countless tiny voices at varying volume levels, music, laughter, the occasional crying moment, the sounds of pencils being sharpened, and the whispers of students sounding out words to themselves. This is my workspace now. I sit on my couch, portable whiteboard hung behind me, multiple pillows to support my back that’s not used to sitting this long. Next to me I dragged a bookshelf I snagged for next school year, we provide the majority of classroom furniture and supplies. You just have to be thrifty. I wedged an additional shelf between the arm of the couch and a heavy book, ‘Henri Matisse A Retrospective,’ so that I could have something like a desk. It’s so strange for the most precious pieces of my work to be only virtual, I see their faces via Google Meet and photos from parents. Our district didn’t even allow video chats at first, there’s so many privacy issues to consider. I couldn’t do it though, I asked for written permission from parents. Eight year olds need to see their teachers, their friends, and most importantly they need to be seen.” — Acadia in St. Louis, Missouri
Day 57 | “This is where I’ve spent 80% of my time over the past however-many days. I’ve been burrowing into the yoga channels on YouTube, hovering nervously around my overwatered houseplants, playing games on my phone (who am I??) and, of course, munching on baked goods.
I could tell you about the dread that sets in when I really slow down - but I’m also feeling really grateful and positive. I can’t shake my conviction that there’s humor to be found in my own boring day-to-day.
Mary Oliver is one of my favorite poets and I like this bit - reminds me to be understanding of my mood swings: ‘We shake with joy, we shake with grief. What a time they have, these two housed as they are in the same body.’” — Claire in Cambridge, Massachusetts
Day 58 | “I have been incredibly fortunate that my family and most of my friends have been relatively unscathed by Covid. I truly have so many things to be thankful for, like my ping pong desk/WFH space that I share with my two favorite boys.
And yet, in spite of my inordinate blessings, I am a grumpy little gremlin. I have never been so judgmental in my life. When I decide someone isn’t socially distancing properly, I can’t help but say something snarky about them to my very patient partner.
On my good days, I work on grounding myself through my religion. This has helped me realize I am being hypocritical and self-righteous, and have no business being that. To get out of my gremlin funk I have this mental image of Jesus saying, ‘no, Lisa, YA basic.’ Sometimes you just gotta humble yourself and count your blessings.” — Lisa in Seattle, Washington
Day 59 | “My partner and I were supposed to be moving to San Francisco Memorial Day weekend. He landed his dream job and I was lucky enough to have the support of my employer to transfer to a remote work position. Due to COVID, moving is on hold for the foreseeable future.
I previously had envisioned the spring to be a time of paring down, packing up, and figuring out how to work remotely from my teammates. While one of those things have remained true (we are going on week 10 working from home) it has largely been a time of building new routines and creating comforting spaces.
I am trying to enjoy the new speed of life and the fact that most mornings start in my new make-shift office. My partner sits in the wingback and I at my desk. We sip coffee, read through the news, and share anything that might catch our attention before digging in for the day. I work in healthcare and spend a good portion of my day reading about our response to COVID, so if I’m not careful it can be all encompassing. Right now my partner, my dog, my near proximity to Forest Park and my family and friends, allow me to find joy and relaxation at the end of the day.” — Ellie in St. Louis, Missouri
Day 60 | “I live in NYC now, but have been back in the Atlanta suburbs in my parents house since mid-March. It’s been really different to be in the southern suburbs after being in Manhattan and seeing the different tolls COVID is taking, and the different mentalities people have. Georgia opened (almost) everything back a couple of weeks ago. I’m worried about what the situation will be here in a few weeks and mad at our governor for putting people in a position where they have to put their lives at risk or risk losing their livelihood since public benefits don’t extend to those who can technically go back to work. Around me, most people are still social distancing and using masks when they go out. The suburban lifestyle also inherently allows more protection against exposure than living in the city, though.
In a way, this time definitely has perks for me. I’ve always prided myself on being adaptable, so I’m managing pretty well with this new lifestyle. I’m lucky to be able to come home and have my younger sisters, parents, and dogs all in the house. I truly am never without company! My youngest sisters are still in high school, and my other sister graduated from Wash U in December and was planning on being home and working this spring anyway, so it’s a silver lining that I get to share these months with them too.
I work in policy for the NYC Department of Education, the nation’s largest school system. From the minute the mayor decided to close schools, everything changed. We’ve had to create new policies around grading, attendance, graduation, serving special populations. A majority of students in NYC are low-income, so remote learning is a huge equity issue, too. The DOE focuses a lot on equity and access, though, and I’m hopeful something to come from this crisis will be more equitable policies and education in the city. In a way, this work is what is grounding and getting me through this time. It’s hard to plan for anything in the future, so I’m doing my best to focus on now.” — Alena in Atlanta, Georgia
Day 61 | “As a pharmacy benefit consultant, I've been fortunate to keep somewhat of a normality working from home since 2015. There have been a few changes that my girlfriend and I have adopted throughout the weeks in our one bedroom Chicago apartment. First came splitting desk time based on conference calls. Next, we purchased a cycling bike and smart trainer to maintain fitness while staying indoors. Be careful, it's addicting. Most importantly, we added a third teammate and picked up Mac, an Australian Shepard puppy! He's brought so many laughs and positive vibezzz into our home.It makes you really enjoy what matters in a time when the world can be so negative. Be safe as we get through this TOGETHER.” — Kyle in Chicago, Illinois
Day 62 | “I’ve been working from home since the first week of March. Working in healthcare (not front-line) has been a frenetic exercise in remaining agile, and the degree of success varies by day. I feel relief that my loved ones and I have experienced safety and stability at a time when so many are experiencing hardship. I feel deep sadness and helplessness in the face of this pandemic and the loss it has disproportionately visited on the most vulnerable among us. I feel an almost boundless sense of anger at elected officials and citizens who cannot or will not keep their fellow humans in mind and act only in small, petty self-interest. I hold all these emotions at once.
But like any insufferable middle-class queer, I’ve taken many opportunities to avoid my emotions by cooking a lot, tending to the garden after long work days, and tackling some long-awaited home organization and decorating projects. The up-side is that I’m even more obsessed with my house; how fortunate since most of my time is now spent staring at it. One of my favorite activities has been putting up all the art I’ve accumulated so that I can be surrounded by things that make me feel safe and happy. And of course drinking wine...like, lots of wine...while I quarantine with my pup and my boyfriend.
Somehow through all this isolation, I feel even more in love with my friends and family, even more connected to my neighbors, and even more committed to my city. I talk to family daily; I’ve made new connections via social media (lookin’ at you, Diana). And I’ve seen some of the most incredible acts of people helping each other out financially, emotionally...it pushes me to constantly ask “what more could I be doing?” And motivates me to act. It’s likely never enough. But it’s something, right?” — Nate in St. Louis, Missouri
Day 63 | “I bought my house a year ago having no idea the amount of time I'd be spending in it over the next year. I spent months making it feel lighter and adding in pops of joy-inducing colors. I've turned my living room into a yoga room, a spare bedroom into an art studio, my backyard into a bonfire/reading sanctuary, and my kitchen into a place I want to cook. Unknowingly, I was creating the exact kind of space I'd want to be in if a pandemic hit.
While it feels more PC to say that my isolation experience has been difficult, I would be lying if I did. It has allowed me to spend significant time building my art business, reading books that have been sitting, writing, meditating, and doing yoga. It’s been one of the happiest, most enlightening seasons of life and I imagine my life will not be the same coming out of this (as I’m sure we all feel on some level). All of this is not to say I’ve turned a blind eye to the reality of the global situation. My heart hurts everytime I read a headline and I pray daily for the universe to ‘right’ itself as soon as possible. It's a bizarre time that is affecting everyone in different ways, and making the best of it is really all we can do.” — Sophia In Minneapolis, Minnesota
Day 64 | “My dad has been telling me as long as I can remember to ‘just slow down’. I have always had a lot of energy and I’m happiest when I’m on the go. Now that the world around me has nearly stopped, I have been forced, finally, to slow down. At first I found it very difficult to be home every day, especially with my partner, Sam, still going to work. In turn, I felt very guilty about feeling sad and anxious when I have a lot to be grateful for. My good friend reminded me that everyone is riding an emotional rollercoaster and it's important to just take time to feel and move at a pace that feels right.
Sam and I have been together almost 10 years. We live in a small ranch that we are renovating with a yard, a large garden, and a deck overlooking a reservoir. This August we were supposed to get married, but we have postponed until next year. We were disappointed at first, but recognized that we have what is most important: each other, our health, and our happiness. Slowing down has helped me remember and appreciate what is most important in my life.
Our weekends are now all spent at home, something atypical for us. We are both busy bodies so our new, slowed down life consists of early morning hikes with our dogs and full days of house projects. We are less on the go and everything feels more relaxed. I hope that I am able to hold on to this feeling of relaxation, remember it, and learn from it that sometimes I do just need to slow down.” — Meg in Framingham, Massachusetts
Day 65 | “Since being asked to work from home after our spring break in March, I have witnessed our school families achieve and also struggle with the tricky combination of at-home learning and working parents. Our principals, teachers and staff have been dedicated to reach out to our families and each other in many beautiful ways. I am grateful to be employed and healthy thus far, and looking forward to seeing my kiddos again in August, whatever that arrangement may look like by then. I have returned to my school this week with social distancing to help prepare for that time. It was cozy and enjoyable to work here in my home, but it’s great to be back.” — Anna in St. Louis, Missouri
Day 66 | “My boyfriend and I have always lived in different cities. I was visiting him in LA for my spring break when my PhD program went remote because of the pandemic so I decided to quarantine with him. Three months later and everything still feels so surreal but I feel lucky to be healthy and financially stable. I’m really grateful to have a patient and encouraging boyfriend who puts up with my craziness during these uncertain times, and incredible friends and family all around the world. Being isolated has definitely been a challenge especially as an extrovert, but it made me discover myself in different ways and made me explore new facets of my relationship with Les. We workout together, write code together, cook together, watch a lot of tv shows, make cocktails and I (try) to teach him French. He’s a software developer and I’m getting my PhD in Comp Sci so he was basically my TA at the end of the semester. I try to remind myself everyday that happiness lies in the small things.” — Mélanie in Los Angeles, California
Day 67 | “I love the simplicity of vivid colors – unforgettable, emotional and boundless, alluring people and thought-provoking. Yellow is my favorite color at this moment of my life, it didn't use to be. It used to be blue or black. I was reading The Secret Lives of Colors, it told a hidden story of chrome yellow. It says, “The baking late summer of 1888 was the happiest of Vincent Van Gogh’s life. He was in the ‘Yellow House’ in Arles in the south of France, eagerly awaiting the arrival of his hero, Paul Gauguin. Van Gogh hoped that together they found an artists’ commune in Arles and he was, for once, optimistic about the future.” This is where I usually sit to work, I take notes on the yellow paper and there will always be coffee nearby. I can’t live without two cups of coffee every day. My workspace is quite messy at the moment, but it’s categorized by colors station by station: I take notes on yellow paper when I have meetings on computer or phone, and I would highlight them with different colors to organize. I surround myself with all the mood boards to inspire and remind myself every day. I change them up every month or so. To the right are some additional packaging materials and cans of colorful pens and highlighters. Then at the edge is a stack of books I need to read – Furiously Happy, Designing Design, and The Courage to be Disliked – next to my daily journal.” — Ophelia in New York, New York
Day 68 | “I’m a third year law student (at Washu! Go bears!) and this is my space. Learning how to adjust my expectations has been one of the biggest lessons of this time. I haven’t physically been at my school since the first week of March. I won’t walk in a commencement ceremony. My bar exam in June is pushed back to September. One steadying force, however, has been this apartment. The large flowers were created by my brother. The rugs were my late grandfather’s. The table was a gift from my parents. My best friend and I thrifted the pink chairs. All around this space I have things that help me feel more connected to the people and places that are important to me. Not pictured are roughly 9 plants and my dog, Angus. It’s also helpful to have things to take care of. Thanks for listening 🌿” — R.A.M. in St. Louis, Missouri
Day 69 | “This pandemic has found me in the 'I am finding it difficult to be productive during this time' camp. I have been doing a lot of reading. I have read 17 books since the shelter in place order was first announced. I have been doing a lot of reading but not much else.
I've been quite anxious because I am living fairly far away from my family and my mother didn't have the option to work from home so she's been going to work each day. My partner and I are very fortunate that we were both able to stay at home and not have the worry of choosing between getting sick or getting fired or the other countless worries or choices a lot of people have been forced to make. He is a PhD candidate, so his classes went online. I quit a job about a month before this hit so I could focus on finishing work for a solo exhibition. The exhibition was in its last few weeks when everything shut down.
Reading helps to take my mind off of the uncertainty of these days. I read most of the books from this spot overlooking my plants and glancing up to see out this window. The last few days a sparrow has been visiting each afternoon, it sits on the iron rail next to the drain spout and sings.” — Tara in Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Day 70 | “I'm feeling really grateful right now. I'm spending quar (abbreviating makes it more palatable?) with my fiance in our Chicago apartment. I was the only one not laid off in my department, which, kooky. My family members and family friends who had coronavirus have so far recovered.
I've watched my anxieties become irrelevant (lol, social anxiety) and have in turn approached myself with more compassion. I'm also learning to to acknowledge this privilege with gratitude and not be overtaken by guilt, as I would have previously. Instead I'm replacing that guilt with educating myself to be a better ally and advocate.” — Jamie in Chicago, Illinois
Day 71 | “It's been impossible for me to do my usual line of media production work because it relies on large gatherings of people, from the actors in frame all the way to the Coordinators far from set. The performing arts on most scales are basically halted. My employed girlfriend Grace and I live together in one of the most densely populated areas of LA with one of the highest positive case rates for COVID-19 in the county. We can't in good conscience lead a normal life with the high probability that we have the virus and can spread it unknowingly. Our stoop has become our savior. When being cooped up with someone in a small space gets to be too much, we can go outside and breathe in new beginnings. If we just need some fresh(er) air or a little Vitamin D, all we have to do is open the door. A lot of our urban friends have to go through a big operation to get outside. We have our stoop, though, and we're grateful for it. We even have a lawn chair for the full oasis experience!” — Adam in Los Angeles, California
Day 72 | “To have a safe home is to have a place for uncomfortable conversations. To have the privilege to use the space you occupy to shelter others. To open up your reality to acknowledge another.
This series of daily works has been my way to fortify those of us who can protect the collective safety of society during Covid. The pandemic is an ongoing reality but eventually, scientists will develop a vaccine. Anti-racism is not something we can wait for. Anti-racism is a necessary practice in our every day life. And that fact is one we can all embrace. Like wow, I, ME, MYSELF, I can actively work to create a better future for humankind.
A few years ago, someone asked me how long we were planning to keep our Black Lives Matter sign up. The answer is simple: Until we all act and believe that truth. Until it exists completely in the world and not just on a sign.” — Diana in St. Louis, Missouri